This was a good idea I got in response to my problem with being able to get a turn to talk: “What I discovered from all of this is that talking can be overrated. Everybody talks but how many people have you met who really listen? In my experience, when people are quiet for portions of a conversation, they are not genuinely listening, they are just waiting for their chance to speak. I have found when you really listen to others that eventually you do get your turn to answer.”Because I have heard this put in other ways before, and it was an easy idea to implement, I began to try it in every situation. I did not have a small group situation again, but I first implemented it in a classroom setting. I examined my thoughts to see if I was really listening to other people or just waiting for my chance. I realized I wasn’t really listening. So I sat with a class member at lunch time and just decided to listen. He is a very interesting person, and it was much more relaxing when I wasn’t trying to think of what to say in response to what he said. As I was told, I got my chance to talk. There was a period of silence, where he seemed to decide he had talked enough and it was my turn. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t really have a lot to say.
I implemented it in most conversations in the following week. I still had a frustrating conversation or two on the phone, where I had trouble getting to respond, but I had much more rewarding face-to-face conversations. It seems like, especially with people I’m close to, listening is very much appreciated! It brought a new closeness to relationships and, surprisingly, I don’t think the world suffered from not getting to hear her me as much!
